A Smashing Good Time
So, Super Smash Brothers: Brawl.
On Saturday night, I slipped into Gamestop and picked up a copy. As it turned out, there was a tournament before the actual launch, but sadly, I missed it. The night wasn’t entirely devoid of entertainment value, however.
As soon as I drove past Panera’s darkened form, I found that even in Shermanthisplaceistiny, Texas, Smash Brothers is a phenomenon. In what should have been an abandoned parking lot, occupied only by cold and dark, there were cars. A lot of cars. A veritable caravan stretched forth in front of my eyes. With the sounds of Coheed and Cambria’s “No World for Tomorrow” still blaring in my ears (that seems to be all I listen to these days) I strode towards Gamestop.
Many people were bunched together outside of the store. The guy in front of me indicated that the people were in a line, but I’m fairly sure it was a mob — I’m almost certain there were pitchforks.
This article is sorely lacking in the way of pictures, so here’s one. Believe me when I say that dire circumstances prevented me from posting any others. This particular picture may or may not have something to do with the reason why.
All manner of people comprised the line: little, big, even female! A jumble of words and voices was all I could hear as the line inched forward. To pass time, I made small talk with the guy in front of me and he was fairly amicable. For the most part, we simply exchanged quips about the most obvious thing there: the line. I mean, we’re talking about Sherman, Texas here. I’d never even seen that many people in Sherman’s trendiest gathering place, Target.
After what seemed like and was a few minutes, I entered the warm confines of Gamestop. People were huddled around a small LCD screen, playing Brawl, of course; but that’s when it finally hit me: I was excited about this game. See, for the longest time, the gaming community has been hyping this game moreso than even the fabled second coming of Master Chief. And if you’re over the age of six, you likely remember how hectic that was. But for some reason, I just couldn’t move beyond “meh” on my excitement hierarchy. Walking through those doors and seeing the game in-action fixed all that.
The line moved like it was being chased by robot bears and I soon found myself grasping a copy of Brawl firmly with both hands. I did my typical Legend of Zelda-style new-item-celebration — complete with orchestrated soundtrack played by The London Symphony My Mouth — but soon realized that I needed some Gamecube controllers in order to get the most out of the game. Now, some of the more astute (read: obsessive Smash Bros. Dojo, er, readers) audience members might be preparing angry comments about how each of the game’s control schemes are equally effective. Well, go ahead, because I like getting comments. But, put simply, Brawl was made with the Gamecube controller foremost in-mind. After all, Brawl is essentially a Gamecube game running on the Gamecube 1.5 — oh, excuse me, the Wii. *Ducks*
For a minute or two, I panicked at the idea of getting back in the ever swelling line for what should’ve been a quick controller purchase, and completely ignored all the people around me who, in turn, were silently mocking my over-exaggerated, distressed facial expressions. Finally, a solution presented itself! I asked the Gamestop employee if he had any Gamecube controllers. “Yes,” he replied. Awwww Yeaaaa—”But you can’t buy them until tomorrow,” he quickly added. My life’s story had just played out in front of me, and I was powerless to stop it.
As for actual impressions of the game, well, those are coming at some point. They might appear in the form of a large, thematic article, as I’m going to be working on a review game, an article that will hopefully appear on Kombo, and other, top-secret projects. Those things don’t leave much time for “fluffy” impression write-ups, unfortunately. And with that, I bid you goodnight. And to those who purchased Brawl, enjoy your third all-nighter in a row. Remember, the monsters are only hallucinations. Except for the raptors — those are real.
